Day 8 – Uneasiness

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I feel like one of the things I will need to get used to is a constant state of unease. Because I am never sure how this will all end. Will I catch the virus? If I do, will it pass as asymptomatic or will it be more serious? What will happen to my family, my work, my accepted standard of life? I think all of these factors are bleeding into a general feeling of unease. I cant ever feel comfortable. I go out to pick up some food, I go to the store, I just feel like that is irresponsible but then again, I also look at the data and the chance that just being will get me sick. There is a sense that I cannot trust my own feelings. I check my temperature about every other day, it has not moved from 98.6, I know my allergies are doing work on me because it is dry and dusty outside due to unseasonable heat and no rain for like 30 days. Florida feels more like East Texas in the summer than anything else. I have no faith that the information I am getting is accurate. So today I really felt uneasy. I need to stop it but I am not sure if there is a cure for unease. So I wait.

Project – Writing for my Profession

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I started 2020 with a goal to get at least one peer reviewed journal article done. Well, today I outlined that article and consulted with a few experts on the topic I plan to write about. I have a journal I want to submit to and now I have to get to work. My plan is to dedicate one hour a day to this task. The word limit is 7,000 words which is about 28 pages double spaced. No short feat but I hope I am up to the task. I am planning on writing how UCF developed its curriculum alignment process with our community college partners. I know, HOT! But is is important and I have a couple of co-authors who will help a lot.

Album of the Day – Run DMC – Raising Hell

This was the first hip hop album I ever got as a gift. I asked my mom and she gave it to me for a Christmas present. Peter Piper led off the album and I honestly felt space aliens made it. The coolest space aliens I have ever heard but space aliens none the less. The album is best known for the Aerosmith collab on Walk This Way but honestly that is one of the weakest songs on the album. Overall my favorite is Tricky. The whole album is rock, its rap, its pop, its just amazing. At the time I was living in Spokane and honestly, rap and hip hop was all but banned. No radio stations played it, no record stores carried it, mom had to order it from Montgomery Ward. And I am glad she did because it introduced me to one of my favorite genres of music.

Topic of the Day – My Parents

My mom turned 66 on Monday, it is the same day that marked 15 years of my father being gone. March 23rd is an odd day because I can celebrate my mother and mourn my father at the same time. Dad died in 2005 after a short life where he drank too much, smoked too much, did too many drugs, and was overweight. He was a ticking time bomb. He was a good man but flawed. My mother was no saint but she has followed the kind of life I hope to travel in. Work hard, make better choices, retire a bit early. She worked for over 30 years at Costco wholesale and retired just in time to witness the apocalypse.

I am writing about my parents because I think it is time I reconcile the fact that I am a strong combination of them and I need to understand why. Most of it is too personal to place on a blog meant to be fun but I often see the best and worst in myself in how my parents lived. I know I have never smoked a cigarette in my life because my dad smoked, but I also have trouble with spending too much money on frivolous things because of mom.

But in both cases the thing they taught me was love. I cannot understand how some parents can be so cold to their kids. My father kissed me good night every day I ever spent with him up and until he was placed in the ICU. My mom still calls me her number one son. She still calls me and sings happy birthday. She loves me in a way no other person can. I also look up to them because of how hard they worked. my mother is getting a number of procedures now to repair a broken body that worked in a warehouse too long. Even when dad was in the throws of addiction he made his way to work and earned a living. Now I hope to be that same person for my kid. I hope that in the end, when I am long gone, or newly retired my daughter can smile knowing I did my best and it worked.

Gen X Pop Culture Moment of the Day – CNN

Today I want to discuss CNN for a second. CNN debuted in the late 70s as a 24 hour news channel and it was Gen X who grew up with it. While our parents got their news twice a day (morning paper and evening news) we now could mainline news all day. It is in times like these that I wish we did not have such access to news. I know it is making my anxiety worse. But there is a lot I like too. CNN has great documentaries and their election coverage is always great. Add to it Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown and I do watch it more than I should. But, for a generation of latchkey kids, unfettered access to 24 hour news is not good.

Stat of the day – 50-50, 7,746-7,746

That was the record for the Duke-Carolina rivalry for the past 100 match-ups coming into the season. I just get bugged out by this every time I see it.

More Tomorrow.

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