Day 3 – Son Volt – Trace

From 1995-1997 I became a Midwesterner for 24 months as I attended Southern Illinois University at Carbondale for my graduate program. It was a magical time in my life and maybe the best two years of my life. I moved there in June of 1995 after accepting a graduate assistantship sight unseen. I had never been to that part of country except passing through on cross country road trips. I immediately fell in love with the area. It was beautiful, the people were nice, and the pace of living was amazing. It had four seasons and was exactly what I needed at that time in my life.

Son Volt and this album was essentially the soundtrack of my life for those two years. The gritty Americana sound of them, Wilco, Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, the Bottle Rockets, and more. These bands were from Memphis, St. Louis, Chicago and other sites up and down the Mississippi river and they sang how it felt to live there. I would play this CD in my car as we drove to catch a game in St. Louis. We would have the windows in my car down, riding past corn and sunflower fields and stopping to eat at a cafe. Southern Illinois looks like this record sounds. Roadside bars that were dark, even during the day that offered cheap beer and always had a Cardinals or Cubs game on.

I went to Carbondale not knowing a thing about what I was going to find and that is the beauty of discovery. As I drove down highway 13 from Marion to Carbondale to my apartment in Murphysboro each road sign, building, and front yard welcomed me with open arms and let me know I was truly on my own for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I went back to North Carolina and brought back Nicole because it would not be the same without her. It was time we embarked on our life together.

So, the story within the story is Son Volt also reminds me of a summer tradition in Carbondale. One of my first jobs as a Grad Ass (that is what Don Castle, my mentor called us, more on that later) was to help every week with Sunset Concerts. This tradition was a collaboration between the City of Carbondale and SIU and feature six to eight summer shows aimed at building community and celebrating our great parks. Families and students would come out, drink a few beers, grill out some food, and listen to some amazing local music like the Soulard Blues Band. Over 1,000 people a week would attend.

So at the first Sunset Concert Nicole attended we had a cookout. I introduced her to my boss Joanne who was the director of the Student Activities office. It was a fun but seemingly unremarkable evening. The next day Joanne called me into her office and asked me what Nicole was doing, I said she wants to be a counselor but will apply next year. She said, well, my boyfriend runs the counseling institute on campus and was impressed by her. he wants to know if she would like a graduate assistantship and to be in the counseling program. And just like that my future wife went from working at McDonald’s to also attending SIU. We owe a lot to that night, this music and that town.

But this post is not just about the hope of that time but the sadness I now feel. When you listen to Son Volt it is full of pain and loss, Tear Stained Eye and Out of the Picture are painfully sad. And while Live Free, Windfall and Drown are less so they have have the same themes. There are two men who mentored me when I was at SIU and stepped in to help me grow up the first time I was away from home. Jim Wallace was my major professor at SIU. He taught like 60% of my classes and he was my guide when we traveled across the south with the Historically Black College and University class and was my thesis advisor.  He also welcomed Nicole and I into his home for dinners and to watch football on Saturdays. Jim lit the fire of teaching and mentoring others in student affairs and really challenged me on issues of diversity and inclusion. Don Castle was my Grad Ass boss in student activities and taught me most of what I know about event planning, working with students, and producing concerts. He also showed me how to work with students with compassion, humor, honesty, and care. He was like the cool uncle I never had.

Both of these men showed me examples of how to be a better man and a better professional. Jim died in 2013 and we lost Don this last Spring. I miss them both so much. For years after I graduated I would send them messages, we would talk on the phone every so often and keep each other updated. They both somehow found out when my father died in 2005 and called me to offer their condolences and were always the voice I needed at the time I needed it. So Son Volt and this album Trace reminds me of that time, that life, and those men . . . . . I’ve said enough.

Day 2 – Beastie Boys, Check Your Head

It was the summer of 1992. I was back home in Homestead, Florida and all I did was work at Costco like 12 hours a day and listen to music. I was really into Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, basically what everyone else my age was into. In April the Beastie Boys released the album Check Your Head and it was an instant Gen X classic. Lifted up by the amazing single What Cha Want and their trippy MTV video the album was on heavy rotation in my life.  Continue reading

Day 1 – The Trees Have Soul – Willy Porter

In the spring of 1992 I was a freshman at East Carolina University. After my friend Jane dragged me to a meeting of the coffeehouse committee of the ECU Student Union I decided to volunteer for a couple of events to round out my freshman year. One of them was for a coffeehouse concert by some guitar picker I had never heard of. Now, all of our coffeehouse events were held in this small, dingy part of the ECU Student Union long since razed for renovations. The location was small with low ceilings, there was a corner stage and there were a couple of pool tables, a row of video games, some old couches, a big screen television and low light. It was always dark and cool in the location.  Continue reading

Introducing . . . . the 90 day writing challenge.

So here is a challenge I am sure I will fail at but I am going to give it a shot anyway. It’s a 90 day writing challenge inspired by a podcast I started called “Death by 1,000 podcast takes you through 80 day writing boot camps. And while it is designed for fiction writers I like how it gives you ideas, takes you through exercises to stimulate writing creativity, and helps you form a communal feeling toward writing. The goal is to write about 1,000 words a day and at the end you should have a novel length product. Well, I don’t have a novel in mind but I have always wanted to visit my love of music from a personal story telling standpoint. Continue reading

My Midlife Crisis is Real and its Spectacular.

This past week I have read two pieces that have given me pause and allowed me to reflect on something that I have had been thinking about for some time; I am experiencing my midlife crisis. I have been working, parenting, playing, thinking, and experiencing a life and largely ignored the fact that I am likely half-way home. I am 45 years old. I was born in 1973. If we are to believe the experts I am scheduled to die sometime between 2044 and 2073. I suspect the real date is somewhere in the middle. While I have always wanted to live to 100 (and that is possible) I am thinking 90ish is more likely. This is sobering to consider. So I felt like I was folding into a midlife crisis. But not the car buying, relationship ending, playboy midlife crisis. But more an existential midlife crisis.  Continue reading

My Music Memoir: May 31, 1990

By time I filed into my seat at the Miami Arena on May 31, 1990 I was already hooked. I was already a lifelong fan. I had watched the tour film Depeche Mode 101 perhaps 25 times, I had every album (okay cassette but you know), and I skipped first period at Homestead Senior High School on March 19th to be the first to buy the Violator album and listen to it in my car. Depeche Mode was already my favorite band. But there was one more ritual I needed to experience to make my undying loyalty complete – a live concert.  Continue reading

Time to screen the screen time . . . .

As a higher education professional screen time is a fact of life. We spend most of our days in front of computer screens because most of our work production time is spent communicating electronically, writing reports, email, prepping for class, and other rather sedentary and intellectual pursuits. And I know what I signed up for so that is not the argument here. What this post is about is the rest of my day and screen time and how, in the office, I can reduce the amount of and number of hours I am in front of a screen. To reduce the time to what is essential to my work, personal endeavors that are productive and to help reduce the wear and tear on my body as a result of increased screen time.  Continue reading

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